Anyway, when Mitch said he believed in me, I believed it. He’d point to the prison population and say, “Most of the people here don’t belong here, but they don’t know another way,” as if it were up to me to give them one. He’d tell me, “You don’t belong here; you need to get out and stay out. And when you get out, you need to help the people.” Somehow he got me to realize that serving my community was the way I’d stay out of prison.
I also had to stay clean and sober, and I have, for over a decade now. This doesn’t mean I’m not still an addict; I am. But serving the community has become the way I stay engaged with my own sobriety. Maybe that sounds selfish, but you have to love yourself first before you can be of any use to your community. That love of my community takes the form of organizing, of activism, of standing up for people who are being hurt unjustly; who are marginalized; who are being targeted. Learning about myself, doing a lot of soul-searching, doesn’t serve me unless I pay it forward. This doesn’t mean that what I’ve learned is right for everybody; what’s right is that I put it out there so that people who want it can pick it up. By doing so, we empower whole communities. What I want to do is begin to erase the margins, so that everyone, no matter what, is included and loved in their community.
In 2008, for example, law enforcement wanted to impose a gang injunction in Santa Barbara. When we organized opposition to it, it wasn’t just about preventing an injunction against already over-policed neighborhoods; it was about empowering a community.
A gang injunction would have targeted people who were already targeted, even though crime rates had been going down. It would have legalized what police were already doing within the community: violating civil rights. A gang injunction also would have made it more difficult for people charged with being part of a gang to defend themselves in court; and if convicted, they would have received harsher sentences.
Most important, an injunction wouldn’t address the reason that people join gangs in the first place. Gangs fill a need for human connection, caring, and security. Are there better ways to give people connection? Absolutely! And they’re what communities should invest in instead of a gang injunction: after-school programs, sports programs, programs the whole community gets involved in. Heck, even sitting in the park with a group of kids so that you get to know them is a form of connection. That’s actually one of my favorite things to do—just get outside and start talking to people and laughing and joking with them—taking away the isolation of so-called “modern living.” Police officers can do this too—and it works far better than criminalizing entire neighborhoods.
This is the type of work we’ll need to do more than ever for the next four years, and beyond. It will be a little scarier for organizers and activists because Trump’s election has emboldened people who’d rather be intolerant; who think they can “make America great again” by excluding everyone who’s not like them. But you can’t build community by exclusion.
As organizers and activists we’re also sad—because we love our Muslim brothers and sisters, we love our Black brothers and sisters, we love our undocumented neighbors, we love our sisters, we love our LGBTQ friends and relatives. We love all the people that Trump has denigrated. They’re what we love about our community—the richness of its diversity. I will stand up for them because I love them—and because they’re a part of our society, which would not function the same without them. I will do everything in my power to protect them. I will refuse to be silent.
I will also encourage my friends and fellow activists to not act out in anger. This is hard to do in the face of injustice; but reacting blindly, or violently, just plays into the opposition’s hands. The more I learn about emotional intelligence, the more I’m aware that anger can be a powerful motivator, but it needs to be tempered with wisdom and love. With humor. With creativity.
For example, if the Trump administration goes through with a Muslim registry, you can bet that I’m going to encourage everyone I know to join me in registering as a Muslim. We’ll all register as Muslims! What will they do with us then?
I’m fortunate to live in San Diego, California, now, so if the Trump administration decides to go through with building a wall, we’re going to be like the water protectors at Standing Rock: we shall not be moved.
I’m not a big believer in signing petitions and expecting them to get a lot done, but I am a believer in going down to see our city council members, our mayors, our county supervisors, our congressional delegates, our senators, our governors. We’ll make sure they know how we feel, and we won’t stop pushing and pushing until we get the things we need.
I also believe boycotts are effective, so I’ve pulled my money out of Wells Fargo; I’ve pulled it out of Chase. I’ll put it in a credit union, or a local bank, and I’ll let the banks know the reason for my decision.
We have power in our purchasing decisions, too. I don’t use AT&T or Verizon for my cell phone service; I use Credo Mobile. Being a graduate student, I don’t have a lot of money, but I give a small amount every month to organizations that are on front lines that I can’t be on—like Planned Parenthood and the Environmental Defense Fund. Even if it’s only $5 or $10 a month, when millions of us do it, we’re effective.
We also need to be organizing and preparing candidates to run at all levels of government in the 2018 mid-term elections. And educating 16- and 17-year-olds to be prepared to vote when they turn 18. That’s activism.
I think that in the next two years we’re going to take a couple of really big leaps backwards, but in the long-term we’ll be OK. The numbers are on our side; justice is on our side; love is on our side.
A few weeks ago some fellow graduate students—white females—were saying how scared they were of the incoming administration and what it would bring. Afterwards I thought, “If you’re scared, I should be terrified!” I’d be a lot less worried if I knew that people with privilege—whites, heterosexuals, Christians, and even people of color who are in a position of privilege—will actually risk their comfort to speak out on behalf of the people who are likely to be targeted and further marginalized in the months ahead.
It will make all the difference if oppressed groups find they have powerful people as allies. Being an ally means standing up for the dignity, love, and respect of another group even when that group isn’t present. It’s also important for people of privilege to see what the rest of us are up against, rather than stay in their like-minded circle of friends. Otherwise, silence can become the biggest contributor to hate.
I use social media to educate people and to express myself as well. I have a lot of friends who are reluctant to post anything provocative or controversial on Facebook, for example, but I have no fear of putting what I believe out there. I’ve been doing it for so long, there are very few names other people can call me that I haven’t already heard. For example, I’m a big advocate for the LGBTQ community. I recently put up a post about transgender people and the comment I added to it, was, “For those of you who don’t know, I support transgender rights. Creator created you as sacred, and I will honor that.”
In the macho Latino community, a heterosexual guy defending gay or transgender people is not normal. But there’s nothing my community can say or do to me to make me change my ways. I believe what I believe, and I’m going to speak my truth about it. People need to know that if I’m around and they say something like “That’s so gay,” they’re going to hear me say something like, “Hey, can you please use different language? That hurts my feelings.” I don’t need to go into a deep explanation about why I think it’s wrong. I’ll just say, “It bothers me. Can you not say that? Can you use different words?” The same thing if they’re going to try to use the B word to describe women. I’ll say, “Why don’t you show more respect for your mother, or your sister. Or my mother and sister?” But I do it in a way that minimizes confrontation—because I’m not trying to make the speaker feel bad, or prove that he or she is wrong. I’m just concerned with protecting people I care about.
If I encounter someone being hateful, I remind myself that I probably don’t know anything about this person, or their upbringing, or what might have happened to them to make them act that way. I check myself from assuming things I don’t know. And my training in emotional intelligence reminds me that emotions always serve a purpose; they just don’t necessarily serve the purpose at the moment.
I learned a long time ago you don’t have to match anger with anger, or hate with hate. People can be defused with kindness. I can simply say, “That’s your opinion. I don’t agree with it.” So long as no one is being threatened by their anger or hate, I can walk away. I can remind myself that their ill-mannered language says more about them than about me.
Since I got out of prison, I’ve realized that my purpose in life is to lead with love and compassion. It was probably always my purpose, but it took me awhile to accept it and to acquire the skills that let me become good at it. There are differences in the world, but those differences don’t have to divide us. People are in enough pain already. We don’t need to add to it by demonizing each other.
I have two young nephews who were born during this ugly presidential campaign. I realized that two more young boys of color were born into resistance. Like my own, it’s not a battle they chose. They were born with a darker skin tone, in a lower economic group, during a time when color and poverty were—are—being targeted. But they were also born with an uncle who will teach them that they can either resist or become victims. That’s something I didn’t have. We’ll get through the next few years by taking care of each other. Our struggles will make us stronger, and we are only as strong as our struggles. Love will heal us, love will lead the way, love will keep us together.
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