I am scared I might die, suddenly.
Of a heart attack. Me…no more.
I’m afraid of leaving behind my wife
who, through laughter, has brought joy into my life.
I tried suicide once, you see.
But I’m very happy that I failed miserably.
I sat in the bath, in my situational crisis,
sobbing my guts out and urging myself on
to throw the electric appliance – a clock radio, since you ask – into the water.
And then I’d be gone.
This was brinkmanship of the highest order,
playing chicken with my soul.
There were many false starts, as I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
And then, all at once, I suddenly threw it.
Bracing myself for…I did not know.
To my surprise, shock, anger and indignation
the red display on the clock winked away at me from under the water.
There were no sparks, no electrifying end.
Just a sense of feeling cheated.
A total black hollowness of despair.
I had arrived at the bottom of the pit. The abyss.
There was no farther down to go. Only, slowly, up.
If I’d used a hairdryer it would have been a different story.
But I only learned that later.
Now that I feel I have cheated death once, I think the Reaper may take me at any time.
Now that I have left despair behind
I am scared of dying, suddenly.
—
Warren Paul Glover is a British-Australian screenwriter, playwright, poet and actor, based in Sydney. Born in England, Warren has a BA with Honors in sociology and worked for many years in the health sector in London. After moving to Edinburgh, Scotland, in 2009, Warren studied creative writing and screenwriting at Edinburgh University before emigrating to Australia. Warren’s plays, poetry and fiction have been performed and published in Australia, Britain and the United States, with his short films additionally screened in Dubai and Mexico. Warren is a member of the Australian Writers’ Guild (AWG). He can be found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/WazMan01, Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warrenpaulglover/ IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm4272394/?ref_=nv_sr_1 and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WarrenPaulGlover/
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