Jentz: No. I don’t think he deserves to be forgiven. He hasn’t even acknowledged his guilt, let alone asked for forgiveness or done anything to atone. That’s one of the things I speak about in the PBS film. I’ve forgiven myself and the community of Cline Falls. I’ve forgiven my friend Shayna for not wanting to hear about it. And not forgiving my perpetrator doesn’t mean I’m bitter or vengeful. I’m free of him. I don’t think of him at all. People have this idea that if you haven’t forgiven, you’re locked up inside; you’re walking around with this terrible burden, but I shed that burden through writing the book. The book was justice. There’s even a quote, “What is written with a pen cannot be hacked away with an ax.”
Early on in my process I went to this spiritual place where the attack didn’t matter. I’d survived. I was immortal. I had to work at getting angry. During my investigation I was very angry. But, as I said, the book was justice.
The MOON: Do you know why he did it? Did the townspeople give you any clues?
Jentz: Yes. He had apparently confessed to a friend of his and said he did it because we had snubbed him. Apparently he’d seen us riding by on our bikes and said, “Hey,” or something, and we didn’t respond. We don’t have any recollection of it. So he got drunk and came back in his truck and tried to kill us.
The MOON: Did the townspeople say he’d been abused as a child? Was he passing along his own trauma?
Jentz: He was adopted by a family who apparently was unable to deal with him. They just buckled and became co-psychopaths. He abused his sister and who knows how many others. His parents enabled his brutality all his life.
The MOON: Do you have any thoughts on how what happened to you fits into a larger picture of violence against women…or even of violence, per se, in the United States?
Jentz: Yes. I believe men abuse women because they can get away with it. My perpetrator’s parents and the entire town let him get away with his violence. They never even charged or arrested him! Every wife and girlfriend in this man’s life has been abused by him. These women bonded with me.
At the time I was conducting my investigation I was also serving on the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women and I answered the hotline. Every call was from a battered woman. My Lakota book will be a platform to address this issue. The Standing Rock Reservation has the worst rape rate in the entire nation. But the issue is by no means isolated to the Native community. I’m a supporter of Equality Now, an international human rights organization that works to abolish violence against women in all its forms. The statistics on violence against women worldwide are truly horrifying.
The MOON: I used to work with a domestic violence organization in Santa Barbara and was shocked to learn that in the United States more Americans were killed by domestic violence than were killed by the war in Vietnam during that same time period. There’s no Vietnam Memorial to them, but if there were, it would be an even bigger monument. Most people don’t realize the extent and lethality of domestic violence.
However, the theme of this issue is “GRRL Rising.” Do you think girls and women are rising?
Jentz: My partner, who is a filmmaker, is in India with Gloria Steinem right now. They are interviewing girls who have been sex trafficked. The brutal rapes we’ve been hearing about in India have been going on forever, so I think the fact that we’re hearing about them now means that things are changing. We’re shining on a light on something that was completely hidden thirty years ago.
I think empowering women is key to solving all of the problems we face. Empowering women is key to population control, ending genital mutilation, reducing infant mortality, feeding families and ending poverty, ending violence against women. Empowering the feminine means respecting the Earth, children, animals, nature, wildlife. I even think it’s key to ending war.
The MOON: Why? When I think of women political leaders, it’s not clear that they’re any better or different than the men. Some are; some aren’t.
Jentz: I’m not even talking about empowering women politically, although that’s part of it. The women who’ve made it through our male-dominated political system have had to acquire many of the attributes of successful males to get there. I’m talking about empowering women in place—where they are. Empowering the feminine viewpoint; the feminine agenda, which is nurturing; which is life-affirming.
The MOON: What trends encourage you and give you hope?
Jentz: The fact that there are trafficked girls standing up right now gives me hope. The fact of my own survival and healing gives me hope. I believe that the liberation of women is just under the surface of events all over the world and will soon start to burst through. Of course the world faces massive problems. Who knows if climate change, or some super-virus, or running out of water, or famines and food shortages will cause a huge population die-off. But if we can manage to keep the lid on these challenges, I think the improved status of women is grounds for a lot of hope.
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