I have seen them, in a fashion
they are similar to us, but different
their bodies, their eyes, the way they move
huge, powerful — I understand, now
these rumors that they are gods
I remain skeptical
sometimes it strikes me, though not divine
they are master teachers, gurus
I observe them carefully as they carry on
commanding tremendous forces with such ease
I seek to emulate what I do not comprehend
occasionally, when I am involved in my work,
or just crossing the room
I feel them rush up behind
and past me, as if I’m not here at all
as if I do not figure in their world
then again, they will be still for great lengths of time
communing with another plane
patterns of light and sound, signifying nothing
I hear them speaking
but their language is unintelligible
nevertheless, at times it seems they know my name
I speak back, but cannot make myself understood
yet I feel compelled to do what I can to earn their respect
I perform the exercises earnestly
begin to feel adept, on the verge of something new
then I hear laughter, as if it’s all a game to them
they are only humoring me
and I know we can never be true friends
they cannot know my pain
I curse them
but my anger only amuses them further
later, I make my apologies
they behave as if there is nothing to be forgiven
I am grateful I cannot turn their hearts against me
it’s as if they take me in their arms
fill me with such light and love and joy
that I cannot doubt their good intent
and I know, in that moment, they are always with me
watching, listening, tending to my needs
then all trace of them is gone
and I am alone again
like a discarded plaything
I know, deep down, that they can do without me
it is I who need them
I have seen the portal through which they come and go
I long to follow, but it is closed to me
perhaps I lack the courage or will
to dash through into that other dimension
would I not be lost on the other side?
when things aren’t going so well
when I have reached the bottom
and feel totally abandoned
I cry out in desperation, pleading in the dark
hoping beyond hope they can hear me
and will return to shine their light
it is foolish, I know, but I have no choice
I must have faith and trust
that tomorrow there will be kibble in my bowl
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